Our family has been a hot mess lately. We’ve been in survival mode for a while… it may be our new normal. Routines are so far in the rear-view that I don’t think I could resume them if you paid me, simply because I don’t remember. Despite all this, I sat down and wrote today for the first time in a long time and subsequently, felt so energized. My heart was lighter, my step quicker. My thoughts began to flow and connect in a way they haven’t lately.
Isn’t it funny how the very thing we find gives us energy and a sense of peace is the exact thing that can become obscured from our view? I feel like I have been missing the forest for the trees, if you will. My whole concept in creating this blog was to have a creative outlet, and to do it despite the mess. Despite the laundry and papers to be graded. Despite the dirt on the kitchen floor and the toys strewn down the hall. Despite the imperfect, less than professional way that I run this blog. And yet. I have been putting it off until. Until more sleep. Until an organized room. Until a better email server. Until.
The enemy has been winning, in his sneaky little way. Here I was believing again that I can do it all, I can have it under control, indefinitely. A whispered lie had me thinking that I should, and could be the Master of Time and Space, and accomplish all the things in a beautiful, sterile, vacuum. I could achieve and maintain the unicorn status and be the beacon for all women who want to find the path to serenity and bliss. Not just in a beautifully curated Instagram shots, but in reality. And THEN. Then I will share my discovery with the world, through my writing. Then there will be time, and space (since I will be the master of both) in order to express my thoughts. News flash Meredith. This doesn’t exist. This whole world is a mess, and we are the most horrible, beautiful part of that mess. Never, on this side of heaven will that sort of perfection and peace exist.
So. A few reminders for myself. I hope they help you too.
Don’t forget about that thing that lightens your step and your heart.
Don’t just dream about that thing that brings you life. Even if you get joy from thinking about it, don’t stop at the dream; Do it.
Maybe you have to break a few of your own self-imposed ‘rules’ to do it.
Give yourself permission to be a little later to bed, or work than normal.
Give yourself permission to do that thing instead of insert responsibility here. Examples: cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, answering emails well past work hours etc. (I would encourage you to NOT put “feed my family” here. That can turn out badly for everyone,)
Don’t let the enemy sneak in.
Remember your truth.
Remember we are all a mess. Especially me.
The challenge is to savor the parts of this life that bring joy. Notice them, and then do that more. I promise, it will be worth it.